Douchiest Way To Get Rid Of Coronavirus

Douches guide to getting through Corona Time

I would kill for a toilet paper--- Frustrated Western Consumer

Coronavirus is the great plague of our times. Books will be written about it, movies will be made about it, you will tell stories about Toilet paper shortages to your kids and grandkids for decades to come.

As coronavirus slowly spreads its slimy tentacles across this great nation and the rest of the world incinerating our economy, closing our schools and colleges and in the process destroying our mental well being by confining us in our homes.

I can tell you that it's all going to be OK, you will be Fine, this virus like so many others before it cannot destroy us but will only make us stronger and that we will destroy this Virus, WE WILL WIN!

But that’s no solace to your quarantined heart, that has been forced to socially distance their life away in the hope of getting through this virus.

So, we came up with a list of things you can do, while you are surviving this apocalypse 2020, to make it a little bit more bearable.

If there was ever a time to do what feels right, without being judged, it's now, when everybody and their mother is scared shitless about not securing enough toilet paper.

So, let’s Start, Shall we!

Drink Hard:

Getting wasted at this time of The Great Plague, might seem to you or look Irresponsible, but who are you trying to impress with your teetotalism? Your irritating and bored Girlfriend or Boyfriend or your Frustrated Roommates. Or your dear Quarantined parents?

Drinking is the most ancient Pastime known to Man.

Drinking Also has many Physical and Psychological benefits:

Drinking has been known to reduce the risk of Heart Attack, According to Scientific Research Alcohol Consumption can lengthen your life, increase your libido there by indirectly contributing towards a better sex life, low risk of diabetes and better blood regulation throughout your body are some of the better side effects of Alcohol Consumption.

But here is the kicker: according to the New York Times no less, a Group of Spanish Researchers have found that drinking can reduce your chances of getting common Cold, by increasing your Immunity.

Psychological benefits of drinking Alcohol

Alcohol lowers our inhibition, increases our confidence and relaxes the mind, which in this time of great uncertainty is very important.

So, Drink Away your anxieties, frustration and fears and Remember,

The More the Better.

Have Tons of Great Sex:

Condom Shortage looms after coronavirus lockdown shuts world top producer----Reuters, march 27,2020

Condoms and Lubes are flying off the shelves.People are Smart!

If you are not busy inventing the vaccine for corona virus, or writing the next Bestselling Book, I have a Suggestion have tons of great Sex, You will never be this free for this long a time again in your life, use it to satisfy your Animal Self, Its even good for your Mental Health!

Sex is the Original and the most primal form of entertainment, Practiced by man since time immemorial.

What do you suppose people “do” in Rural Africa where there are no televisions and Electricity, after the Sun Goes down?

Research Suggests that people in Poor Countries despite having less wealth and resources have better mental well being and are also happier with their life.

Try it! have More SEX, try out new Positions, New Tricks that you were too exhausted to try before, this is your Chance.

It's even better than watching Netflix, Trust Me.

Toilet Paper Really?:

Make videos of your Dog or Cat Destroying your stash of toilet paper and share them on your Social Media.

Why?

I say why not? To Make a Point that Toilet Papers Don’t Matter!

People these days are too sensitive, they get angry about small things, leading to collective harming of our society, it takes a brave Soul to stand up for what’s Sensible and Right. Bland Consensuses of Modern World is making People Dumb and Selfish.

Remember

It’s better to be hated and be Creative Then it is to be loved and be Boring

Don’t waste too much of It Either

Eat your Heart Out:

When was the last time you truly indulged in the foods you like without feeling guilty and ashamed?

We all know how bad modern Fast food is, how bad processed food is.

Modern World and its expectations have hindered our ability to live our life on our own terms.Now you may not like fast food, may be its Ice cream that you like or Fried Chicken or God forbid, you like eating healthy food which is fine too.

The point is to eat whatever you want to eat without feeling bad or guilty, it is good for your mental wellbeing and in these abnormal times mental wellbeing is our most important asset. It’s good for you so do it as much as you can.

And anyways Where are you Going to take your goal oriented, Hot and sexy body if half the Country is under Isolation!

There will be plenty of time after this corona scare is over to diet, lose weight and become goal oriented again.

Now is the time to Indulge!